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EMPOWERED PARENTING: A three part series on how to empower parenting by strengthening the family unit
Empowered parenting takes advantage of the power of habits, routines and rituals, strengthens family relationships and the family as a whole.
Part 2: Strong family relationships empower parenting by building your child’s self-esteem, motivating your child to listen and learn from you, and helping you to allow your child to make mistakes and learn from them.
The best way to encourage parent/child bonding is by spending time together.
What is One-On-One Time?
- Scheduled personal time with your child
- Ritualized parent/child interaction
- Bonding time
- Relationship building
- Self-esteem building
One-On-One Time is all about SHOWING unconditional love and acceptance.
Why should you do it?
Studies show that it decreases your child’s risk for future problems such as:
- Behavior problems
- Academic problems
- Drug and alcohol abuse
- High-risk sexual behavior
Why?
Children are more willing to listen and seek guidance from parents that they feel care about them.
How do you do it?
- Commit
- Be in the moment
- Listen
- Summarize
Commitment
Commitment should be the driving force behind One-On-One Time. Children quickly learn to look forward to their private time with you. Don’t commit to something you can’t do. Commit to a specific day and time. Post it on a calendar and remind your child that it is coming. Commit to it weekly if you can or at least every other week.
One-On-One Time does not have to be that long in duration. If commitment is difficult, try 15 minutes a week.
Be in the Moment
Be a follower. Being a follower is not easy. I may feel a little awkward at first but it gets easier with practice. Avoid teaching, correcting, and even asking too many questions.
Let your child take the lead and give lots of positive attention (use Catch ‘Em Being Good & Know Your Talents handouts).
Remember, this moment is all about them.
Listen
Listen to what they are saying and feeling.
Respond by repeating back to them what they are saying and feeling. Check in with them if you are not sure by asking, “Are you saying…?” or “Did I get it right?”
With toddlers, just be their shadow and enjoy each new experience they discover.
Summarize
Always end with a positive summary of your One-On-One Time experience. Try saying something like, “I really and fun with you today” and “Let’s do this again!” Next month we will discover tools to strengthen the whole family including mom and dad.
