Attachment Issues and Development"
Attachment is the strong emotional bond that develops between infant and caregiver, providing the infant with emotional security. By the second half of the first year, infants become attached to familiar people who have responded to their needs for physical care and stimulation.
The Three Types of Attachment
1. Secure: These people who had a loving childhood, and were well cared for by their mothers. Secure people do not avoid people, and at the same time, do not feel the need to be constantly dependant on other people.
2. Avoidant: These are people who were consistently denied any physical contact by their mothers when they were infants. Avoidants tend to express behavior of detachment.
3. Anxious/Ambivalent: These are people who as infants had mothers who were slow and inconsistent to respond to their cries. Anxious/Ambivalents tend to express feelings of protest, and are very distrustful of others.
Building Support
Common sense tells us that our first-line support for children with attachment issues would utilize praise, approval, and coaching. This type of support is less effective because it addresses the qualities of the client, which is more easily rejected because of low self-esteem. Your belief in “you can do this” does not fit with child’s experiences, which results in further distancing the parent/caregiver from the child.
Use the “pleasure in” vs. “praise of” approach
Parent/caregiver expresses pleasure in the activity or the moment. For example, “I feel happy when…” or “I enjoy it when…” Qualities of the parent/caregiver and client are not addressed. Pressure is reduced and a deeper attachment message is created where the child develops thoughts of “mutual pleasure” and “I am pleasing to someone.”
Guided Reflection
- Admitting a difficult relationship with a particular child may be difficult to accept.
- How might your own relationships influence how you see the relationships of others?
- How will you stay engaged with a child that is having difficulty moving forward after weeks or even months of your efforts?
- For the professional working with children who may suffer from an attachment disorder the work can be draining and daunting at times. What support systems will you build in for yourself?
For more information and additional training on practical strategies for caregivers and/or parents…
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